Leaving for this trip was definitely different than any other mission trip I had ever embarked on. If you know anything about me you know how much of a planner and perfectionist I am, so going into the unknown was a pretty hard thing for me to deal with. This wasn’t like going with my church family to Haiti or Peru for the first time. I didn’t know anybody on this trip and I just barely knew what I was truly getting myself into. I was definitely being placed outside of my comfort zone, which I’m starting to realize the Lord loves doing. I was being bent, but wasn’t being as flexible as He would have liked me to be (God knows how stubborn I can be).
About a month before I was ready to hop on my plane to Botswana, I started actually getting nervous for what was ahead. While I was super excited for what was to come, I also had anxiety of the unknown. Unlike my trips to Haiti, I was at a complete loss as to what to pack. I had nervousness over people I was leaving behind in the States and spending a month with people I had only seen through our team Facebook page. My endless lists didn’t seem to give me any less anxiety on whether I was prepared or not. It wasn’t until I was in Atlanta at training camp sitting with my team that I actually began to feel at peace about going. I got many of my questions answered and came to realize that I hadn’t been putting my faith in God. I was trying so desperately to solely depend on myself to prepare for this trip. Of course I prayed and was prayed over several times before I left, but I wasn’t allowing God to have complete control over my nerves.
As a part time missionary, you learn to be flexible as things changing constantly. No matter how many trips I go on, having flexibility is something I struggle with frequently. God definitely bends you, but He will never break you. He bends and bends only to make you more flexible. My trip had only just begun and I was already learning that it didn’t matter that I didn’t have all the answers. God knew exactly what He was doing. He knew who He was putting me with, where I would eventually end up, and the people I would impact. It didn’t matter that my plan may have been a bit messed up or didn’t turn out exactly how I thought it would. God had a bigger plan and along the way taught me to put even more trust in Him than I had before.
So, as I start this trip, I am leaving with an open mind and heart for what the Lord has in store for me. I am leaving with more flexibility to allow Him to work in and through me in only ways the Spirit can.
I will try to be posting weekly, or more if given the opportunity. I’m new to this blogging thing so bear with me. Please continue to pray for the people of Botswana as we speak truth into them. Thank you to everyone for the prayers and support during my trip.
